If you happen to go back and read the very first post on this blog, you’ll see that one of my goals in starting it was to have other dads write as well. My experiences as a parent are obviously incredibly interesting but I always thought it would be fun to have more of a community.
I won’t do too much introducing here because, below, this particular dad is going to do that for himself. I will say this: Spoiler alert, he has a 9-month-old son and its been years since this blog had any posts for kids that age so I thought it might be a nice contrast to the stage that my daughters are at.
Hello, my name is Ryan. I’m new to this blog and to being a parent. One of these is more daunting than the other.
I’ve known Matt since I was 11 years old. It was 1993 and my first year at camp. Matt was my bunk’s counselor in training, along with Ari Gutman. I’ve not spoken to Ari since that summer … actually, there’s a strong chance I didn’t speak to him during that summer either. The fact that I even remember the name “Ari Gutman” is a testament to what my memory was before fatherhood. Nowadays, I’m lucky to know what day of the week it is. (It’s Saturday, right? I hope so; if not, I’m late for work. Actually, screw it—I hope I am late for work.)
Of course, staying in touch with Matt was a different story. Over the years, we’ve had somewhat similar paths: we held the same traditions at camp, we were both CIT counselors, and we both attended Syracuse University (go, Orange!). Fortunately, I managed to avoid information studies as a major (go, journalism! Something with an actual future, right??).
As fate would have it, I unknowingly followed Matt again last week. This time it was onto an outbound train from Boston. He caught my eye. Then, we caught up. A brief chat led me to follow in his footsteps once more: here, onto the pages of this blog. And I couldn’t be more excited about that.
When Matt described this site to me, he spoke of it as a place to track his journey throughout fatherhood. He said it’d be something he wanted his daughters to read when they grew up. I immediately thought of a different purpose for this space: an outlet for my frustrations. Being a parent isalways hard. But being a first-time parent when you don’t know anything? That’s impossible. And in the nine months since my son was born, it’s gotten to me. A lot.
Around every corner lurks a new frustration. Today’s? I just got my son to go back to sleep. Now, it’s6:00 a.m., and I’m wide awake. So, instead of getting some needed sleep, I’m writing this. (No offense, Matt, but I’d take sleep over you any day.) Of course, many new parents have positive ways to overcome these grievances. For instance, exercise! I briefly considered purchasing a punching bag (not a joke), but instead, I usually eat candy to cope … lots and lots of candy. I crush candy. (Coincidentally, I also play a lot of “Candy Crush.” I don’t think either is good for my health.)
Now, before I vent further, let me make one thing clear: I love my son. I cannot describe the feeling I get when he smiles or laughs or blows out his diaper (FYI: the indescribable feeling for that last one is different from the first two). My wife’s father nicknamed him “Elmo” before he was born, and that’s what I’ll call him here. From the few parent blog posts I’ve read, it seems standard to not call your children by their actual names, and I can’t bring myself to use “MLO” or whatever the standard term is. So, “Elmo” it is. And, you know what? The nickname fits..
Like the Muppet, my son can be friendly, talkative, and annoying as fuck. (He also likes being tickled.) Elmo was born without complications, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. However, he had a fussy start to life, responding poorly when he ate, slept, and well, that’s pretty much all babies do. He’s battled colds, infections, a flat head, and more since he was born. Now, almost nine months in, things seem better. But perhaps that’s because I seem better.
I think the toughest part of being a new parent is not knowing how you’ll react. What if you can’t take it? At times, I think no one can. I know I couldn’t. In these instances, your best bet is to find a way to overcome those feelings. Now, I have one: this blog. I’m looking forward to sharing my stories here with each of you. Hopefully, you’ll find them enjoyable, funny, and relateable. And hopefully, they’ll get you to share yours too. After all, there’s one surefire way to overcome any issues you might face: talk about them.
(Well, that and jelly beans. Oh, man, I wish I had some now. Who cares if it’s like 7 a.m.? I’ve been up for hours …)